Wat zeg je als jij niet verliefd bent?

How direct are the Dutch when turning someone down?

In Dutch dating, the gentle no doesn’t really exist. The standard advice, given to teens with a straight face: gewoon eerlijk zeggen, ik vind jou niet leuk op die manier (“just say it honestly, I don’t like you that way”). No “I’m flattered, but,” no “you’re amazing, however,” just the data. The cultural rule is eerlijkheid duurt het langst (“honesty lasts longest”), even when it stings. Foreigners moving to the Netherlands take about a year to recalibrate.

In this NPO Zapp clip, a kid is asked, “What do you say if you don’t like them back?” The answer comes back instantly: “gewoon eerlijk zeggen denk ik.” Said like it’s obvious.